Shearing the Sheep -- Part 1

Some time ago I read a quotation which at first glance made me laugh -- not long thereafter, as old memories began to flow, it brought great sorrow. Naming the source of the quote would serve no useful purpose; neither do I have any desire to equate the substance of the message it suggests with the ministry of the present-day Churches of God -- or with any other ministry for that matter. I shall however, use the words of the quotation to discuss a subject that has been a lump in my heart for almost thirty-five years. But first the quotation:

“If God didn’t want them to be sheared, he would not have made them sheep.”

From the time of the inception of the modern-day Church of God, the brethren have had one primary function within the body of Christ; that is to provide the funds necessary to keep the ministry and the “Work” of God alive. This does not prevent them from adding their prayers to those of their brethren for some special need within the congregation or within the Church; or even their setting out chairs to prepare for Sabbath services; but from the outset, certain of the “gifts of the Spirit” have been closely held within the confines of the ministry.

You may read in the Scriptures that in the last days your sons and your daughters shall prophesy; your young men shall see visions; and your old men shall dream dreams. If the Churches of God in these latter days are anything like the Worldwide Church of the 1970’s then I caution those sons and daughters who feel the need to prophesy -- they will almost certainly be ridiculed and told to keep quiet in the presence of their elders. Those who begin to see visions will almost certainly be censured for their foolishness -- if not summarily ejected from the congregation. And it is hoped that those old men who dream dreams will have been in the Church long enough to know better than to say anything -- ridicule and censure do have their effect; and are eventually learned -- even by old men.

One of the more successful of the end-time Churches of God makes no apology for their teaching that if God should choose to open up a new or more perfect understanding of Scripture, He will do it through the ministry. Throughout their literature, they make it abundantly clear that God would never allow a new or more perfect understanding of doctrine to pass through anyone who has not first been anointed to His service!

Another of the larger and more successful of the Churches has adopted a more liberal and generous attitude; they allow those who question, or even oppose Church doctrine to submit a study-paper for ministerial consideration. This doctrinal contribution is then studied by a group of 5 ministers who make up what is referred to as a “doctrinal committee”; the men of this “doctrinal committee” are all members of the Church’s 12-man “Council of Elders” and of course, they are all ministers of the Church.

If this 5-man “committee” sees merit in the doctrinal submission they then pass it on to the full “12-man Council of Elders.” This Council of Elders is made up of 12 ministers who have been elected to this position by those who form the entire ministry of the Church. If this 12-man “Council” continues to see merit in the submission it is then passed on to the “General Council of Elders” who are (you guessed it) each and every other minister of the Church!

Where do the lay-members enter the equation? They are the ones who submit their tithes and offerings so that the ministers can effectively perform the “Work of God” and care for the needs of the Church; including the determination of what the Scriptures do or do not say. Other than that, the lay-member has virtually nothing to say regarding any question of doctrine. When (or if) a decision is made on any point of doctrine, the lay-member will be given the decision as a ministerial edict and allowed little or no choice except to follow the edict or reject the authority of the ministry.

I have always believed it was this very attitude which created problems within the Worldwide Church and eventually led to the dissolution of the brethren. When the ministry took it upon themselves to be the sole arbiters of what the Bible did or did not say; when they began to demand that the brethren “look to the ministry” for their scriptural understanding, the Church as we knew it was doomed.

Nevertheless; even if everything I’ve said to this point is both accurate and true, I can see no better way than that which this Church and their Council of Elders has adopted. It may be possible to include some of the lay-brethren in discussions concerning Church doctrine, but in the imperfect world we live in the addition of anyone not absolutely necessary to the functioning of Church organization should be resisted. We who are the “church” of God are therefore left with our constant and comforting prayer: “Thy will be done -- thy Kingdom come!”

Reliving the Past

As I sit here contemplating how to continue with the subject at hand, I realize that the sun has not yet risen to begin a new day. The night which even now seems reluctant to end has been very difficult for me as memories of events long past keep flowing through my troubled mind.

The days and weeks leading up to my separation from the Worldwide Church of God kept replaying in my thoughts with a clarity that was almost overpowering. The memory of my final Sabbath service was almost more than I could bear. Until you have actually experienced the depths of betrayal described by King Solomon in his book of proverbs, you cannot fully appreciate the feeling of rottenness which can literally permeate the very marrow of your bones:

Proverbs 12:4 “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”

For those of us who experienced what we perceived to be the betrayal of our ministers, the woman who caused this shame was the one we had come to look to as our spiritual Mother; the very Church of God who nourished our minds, our bodies -- our very souls!

It was many years before I came to accept that the secular organization known as the Worldwide Church of God was the source of that betrayal -- not the true “church” of God! But how many of our brethren have since fallen asleep believing they were betrayed by the very God who was, and is, and shall yet be their Heavenly Father?

To relive the memories of that time is to relive the sickness, the shame, the frustration, and the anger. I have never been one to believe in the allegorically therapeutic qualities of opening old wounds that the poisons may drain out -- but in this case it may be that the lessons of the past can help not only myself, but others of my brethren to heal; while still others may learn from the errors of the past and determine that they never be repeated.

My Side of the Story

My final Sabbath Day service with the Worldwide Church of God was held in a large banquette hall in the eastern Canadian city where we lived; it was early spring in the year 1974 and it was an annual High Day. If my memory serves, it may have been the last of the seven Days of Unleavened Bread -- however, the possibility remains that we may have been observing the Feast of Pentecost. In the afternoon, a young man recently graduated from Ambassador College and sent to our local Church as a new ministerial assistant, was just finishing a sermonette on the counting of the days to Pentecost; the anger and frustration which had been building in me long before this day even began, erupted with the words: “I’ve heard more than enough of this s--t!” I turned to my wife and said: “Come on -- we’re leaving!”

It has been my long-time belief that to hear one side of any story is to hear fantasy. This does not suggest that everything you hear in a one-sided story is false; only that it cannot be accepted as truth until that truth has been proven. By relating that which I remember of so long ago I accept that it is only “my side of the story”; but in fairness, I must try to assure you that until today, as far as the brethren are concerned, my side of the story has never been heard!

The year 1973 was a time of great upheaval within the Church of God. The spirit of joy and anticipation which to that point in time had been my experience was being replaced by a spirit of discontent, confusion, and disillusionment. For most of the congregation, a clear understanding of the underlying cause of this unrest was not immediately apparent. Rumor and innuendo filtered down to the brethren from no one knew where, only to add to the confusion and fuel the discontent.

At some point, my eyes were opened to a new reality; from within the spiritual cloud that had allowed me to thrive for more than three wonderful years, I was forced to accept some very human truths -- and those truths filled me with confusion and with shame!

The sacrifice I had willingly accepted on behalf of myself and my family showed definite signs of tarnish. The life we had willingly accepted as children of the Living God began to appear more and more like the pathetic existence of foolish and unsuspecting sheep being led to their slaughter -- while being closely and effectively sheared along the way!

One of the more damaging rumours which had filtered down to the brethren was that the ministers were being paid what many perceived to be an unconscionable amount of money. At a time when I was earning the princely sum of $7,200 each year, it came to my attention that our ministers were earning in excess of $40,000. Even so, I continued to believe that as the chosen ministers of God, they deserved whatever we could do for them.

From the subsequent preaching of Garner Ted Armstrong, Herbert Armstrong’s son, the claim has been made that the actual income of the ministry may have been far greater than the rumored $40,000. Reimbursement of expenses and other fringe-benefits may have increased the overall amount; but I can assure you that at the time, what little we were beginning to learn was more than enough to fuel not only discontent, but anger!

This was the third year since my baptism. Those of you who remember the Church of God of the 1970’s will realize what it means that this was my third year. From my gross income of $7,200 I faithfully tithed 10% to the Church for the “Work” of God. A second tithe of 10% of the gross was put aside to be used only for the Annual Holy days; more specifically, the keeping of the Feast of Tabernacles at one of the many “Feast Sites” scattered throughout the world. This being my third year, a third tithe of 10% of the gross was given to the ministry to be used for the relief of those widows and orphans (and other special needs) amongst those who were our brethren.

From that which remained of our incomes, the brethren were commanded by Scripture to make special “Holy Day Offerings” during each of the seven annual Feast Days. To all this was added our free-will offerings which were actively solicited by what many of the brethren came to regard as “begging-letters” from Pasadena. And then there was the “Building Fund” and the separate but equally demanding “House for God” -- and I readily admit that for me, it was this “House for God” that finally broke my spirit.

Please understand: at that time I was glad to do all that could be done to further the “Work” of God and the workings of His Church and His ministry. The “begging-letters” and the additional pleas for the building of “God’s House” were acknowledged as the part we were privileged to play in what we perceived to be the ongoing plan of God. It was only when my eyes were opened to what was really happening that I realized my dedication was being carried out at the expense of my wife and my children. The tithes, the offerings, and the additional free-will gifts were being taken from the mouths, the feet, and the backs of my family -- and I was ashamed! And with the shame came anger!

Leading up to that Day

At that time in the history of the Church there were many doctrinal issues belaboring the ministry and the congregations. One of the more contentious was the counting of the days from the Feast of Unleavened Bread to the Day of Pentecost. From the time Herbert Armstrong first came to understand it was incumbent upon all followers of Christ to not only keep the weekly Sabbath but the annual Holy Days as well, the Church had been keeping the Day of Pentecost on a Monday. Now it was being rumored that some of the ministers (and a few of the brethren) believed it should be observed on a Sunday!

Controversy over when to keep Pentecost had created a growing rift within the ministry; what began as a heated discussion threatened to become a fire-storm when knowledge of the controversy became more widely known amongst the congregations. Many of the brethren went to the Scriptures in search of a more perfect, personal understanding; and I include myself as one whom with much study, meditation, and prayer, chose to search out my own understanding according to that which the Spirit of God gave me direction.

I readily admit that until this trial came upon the Church I had been somewhat naive in accepting whatever the ministry, and especially what the Church leaders Herbert and Garner Ted Armstrong, had to teach me. When I listened to a sermon, or read a booklet or an article on any subject of Scripture, I followed the passages used to support that particular teaching but refrained from actually “searching the Scriptures, whether these things were so.”

With the controversy over Pentecost came the realization that understanding within the ministry was neither a constant nor a mirror to perfection; I therefore began to realize that neither was their preaching nor their teaching a mirror to perfection. In virtually no time at all I began to see flaws in the Church of God which for a time actually shook my faith.

Almost immediately I came to realize we had been wrong to keep the Day of Pentecost on a Monday; in fact, a careful study of the Scriptures made it clear to me that Pentecost should be observed on a Sunday. Eventually, the hierarchy of the Church and the ministry agreed (amongst themselves) that from that time forward, the Church would observe the Holy Day of Pentecost on a Sunday rather than a Monday -- and so it has been since that time in virtually all of the Churches of God.

Unfortunately, (or perhaps not), the change from Monday to Sunday came only after I had been ordered to stay away from the Church and to refrain from any and all contact with those who were my brethren. This ministerial banishment was referred to as my having been “disfellowshipped” -- and I have had no formal contact with any minister of any of the many different and differing Churches of God from that day to this.

My Present Dilemma

And now a minor personal dilemma has presented itself which I would like to share with you. There is no local congregation of any Church of God in the small town where I live; hence, there has been no reasonable opportunity for me to attend Sabbath services with any of the scattered Churches. During the first week of May I hope to be in Las Vegas, Nevada, on my way to Los Angeles, California. I know that one of the more successful end-time Churches of God has a local congregation in Las Vegas and it had been my intention to ask permission to attend Sabbath services -- and thereby the dilemma!

It turns out that the pastor of the local church from which I was disfellowshipped 33 years ago still ministers with this particular Church organization; not in Las Vegas, but I’m not at all sure his geographical location really matters. It has always been my understanding that he was the one who ordered my expulsion from the Worldwide Church; if this is true, and if he did so by the authority and the will of God, it is conceivable that the edict to refrain from any and all contact with the brethren still applies.

In the 33 years since my separation from the Church no minister has ever contacted me in an effort to “bring back that which was driven away”; neither to my knowledge has any minister ever tried to “seek that which was lost.” In fact, from what I’ve been able to determine concerning those of our brethren who either “fell away,” or “were lost,” or “were driven away” so many years ago, it was as if the attitude of the Worldwide Church ministry was “out of sight, out of mind”; no matter the turmoil and the tribulation their actions unleashed on the families of those who were once their brethren.

So the question remains: Do I ignore the events of our distant past and fulfil my desire to attend services in Las Vegas; or do I continue under the ministerial edict to separate myself from the brethren? Then again; is there not a third choice? Can I not simply repent of that which led to my disfellowship? If only it was that simple I would leap at the chance!

Note: What I had hoped to accomplish in one quick (though painful) cleansing of old wounds must of necessity be spread over one more week. I take no pleasure in any of this; and believe that what must be done in the latter part of this message will be even less palatable. There is a need to discuss much I have never before touched upon, and a need to clarify much that has previously been suggested; to that end, next week I shall try to be even more forthcoming as I conclude this work in Part 2 of “Shearing the Sheep.”