Shearing the Sheep -- Part 2

Ezekiel 34:1-6 “And the word of the LORD came to [Ezekiel], saying, ‘Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel, prophesy and say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD to the shepherds: ‘Woe to the shepherds of Israel who feed themselves! Should not the shepherds feed the flocks? You eat the fat and clothe yourselves with the wool; you slaughter the fatlings, but you do not feed the flock. The weak you have not strengthened, [neither] have you healed those who were sick, nor bound up the broken, nor brought back what was driven away, nor sought what was lost; but with force and cruelty you have ruled them. So they were scattered because there was no shepherd; and they became food for all the beasts of the field when they were scattered.’”

The Final Few Months

As unrest and controversy began to spread throughout the congregations of the Worldwide Church of God, many of us began to discuss what was happening amongst ourselves. We were brethren, we were friends, and we recognized that problems had arisen within the Church which could affect not only our temporal lives but our very hope of salvation. And yet, Sabbath services were often accompanied by stern warnings from our local ministers not to discuss amongst ourselves that which God had placed in the hands of His ministry.

Were these men speaking to us in God’s name when they told us: “There is a way that seems right unto a man, but the ways thereof are the ways of death”? They directed us “not to look to our own understanding,” in fact, the catchword of the day had become “look to the ministry!” The wonders of “that first love,” the joy I had experienced as truth and understanding was being revealed to me from the very words and mysteries of Almighty God, slowly turned to ashes in my mind and in my heart.

Note: Before continuing with this, there is something you need to understand about the way I perceive my position with regard to those who are the ministers of God. They are God’s ministers! He selected them and set them apart for His holy purpose! They are anointed to His service and have my unequivocal respect for the position they hold and for the words they speak -- when they speak the words of God!

It is my habit today, as it was my habit back in the days of the Worldwide Church, to listen to every word spoken by our leaders and our ministers. It is my habit today, as it was my habit back in the days of the Worldwide Church, to read every word written by our leaders and our ministers. It is my habit today, as it was in my latter days with the Worldwide Church, to “search the Scriptures” whether that which our ministers preach and teach is indeed the word and the truth of God. And now I must ask you a question: “When I am unable to accept their teaching as truth; when I truly believe that what they are teaching is false; is it my duty before God to say nothing -- or am I commanded by the Word of God to speak out?”

I beg you to read the words I used to introduce everyone to this blogsite. I said:

“Please understand that I am not a minister. I was baptized into the “church” of God several decades ago before what can arguably be called the great “falling away.” I am not a teacher, neither am I affiliated with any of the many surviving Churches of God.”

Many years ago, when I read from the book of Ezekiel, one particular passage affected me deeply. The strength of the words and the message they present has never lessened in my mind or in my heart. I recognize there must be at least the appearance of vanity that I should see this passage of Scripture as a direct message to me and to my conduct within the “church” of God; nevertheless, the words represent both a curse and a blessing that I have managed to postpone over the decades -- but could never completely ignore!

Ezekiel 3:18-21 “ When I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life, that same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at your hand. Yet, if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul. Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and commits iniquity, and I lay a stumbling block before him, he shall die; because you did not give him warning, he shall die in his sin, and his righteousness which he has done shall not be remembered; but his blood I will require at your hand. Nevertheless if you warn the righteous man that the righteous should not sin, and he does not sin, he shall surely live because he took warning; also you will have delivered your soul.’”

So I ask again, and this time I include you in my query: “When [we are] unable to accept [the teaching of our ministers] as truth, is it [our] duty before God to say nothing -- or [are we] commanded by the Word of God to speak out? And if our ministers refuse to heed our concerns, is it not our responsibility to discuss these concerns with our brethren?

For those who would say that our ministers are always ready to listen; I reject your position! It was my experience of long ago that they hear only what they want to hear and reject even the consideration of everything else. It is my experience of today that they are even less willing to hear what they don’t want to hear, and far more willing to reject that which they refuse to even consider (with the possible exception of the previously mentioned “Council of Elders”); and therein lies a principal reason for the continued separation of the many different and differing end-time Churches of God.

Springtime Holy Day 1974

Over the years, as I re-read many of the old “Plain Truth,” Tomorrow’s World,” and “Good News” magazines, I came to realize I had been blind to many of the problems already existing within the Church until my eyes were opened in the latter half of 1973. I have mentioned the rancor which existed over the financial position of the ministry, and I have mentioned the doctrinal disputation over counting the days to Pentecost. Now it is time to finally address the actual problem or problems, as the events unfolded, which led to my separation from the Church.

I want you to read the following excerpt from the “Good News” magazine published in September/October 1970:
“Those at Headquarters [Pasadena California], as well as the ministers in the field, often sacrifice by working long extra hours. They do it willingly because they know they are helping to carry out the greatest Work on earth! They realize they are helping to save humanity from utter destruction, and are proclaiming the reason why God created man. They feel a sense of great accomplishment.
“You can feel this same sense of accomplishment. God in His magnificent generosity has allowed you to help financially support His Work. This is how you sacrifice and serve. Can you comprehend what an honor it really is?”

When I read those words back in 1970 I believed, and agreed with everything that was said. The people in Pasadena, and the ministers in the field, were indeed carrying out the greatest Work on Earth. Those of us, who were privileged to support their efforts in any way we could, considered ourselves truly blessed and honored; and in retrospect I openly admit to feeling that exact same way today! There was no doubt in my mind that we were then, and remain to this day, the begotten children of God -- and as such, at that time we were truly carrying out the greatest Work on the face of the Earth!

From the latter half of 1973 and during the days and weeks that followed, I felt no animosity towards any individual member of the ministry. What did anger me was that my faith in what I had perceived to be the one and only true Church of God had been shaken -- shaken, but in no way destroyed -- unfortunately, that destruction was only a few days away!

During that fateful springtime Holy Day one of the local ministers gave a sermon on the dedication of the ministry and the trials they had to endure in carrying out their service to God and to the brethren. This time there was no mention of their “pumping iron down at the club” or “having to endure smokers while they dined out at one of the better dining-establishments”; (many of the brethren will remember such statements.)

This time the references were of lay-members murmuring and complaining about a luxurious lifestyle among the ministry which this man assured us did not exist. He told us of the many ways these servants of God went far beyond that which they were paid to do -- and then he gave an example -- and my feelings of disapproval and disbelief quickly turned to hurt and an almost palpable anger.

He said: “When most of you are sitting at home with your family, God’s ministers are out visiting the brethren, including the sick and the needy. Many times they have to enter an apartment building where the smell of fish or boiled cabbage hits them as soon as they step off the elevator.”

I, my wife, and our three children lived in such a building. Until that moment we had felt blessed that we had such a home when so many others did not. Those few words, spoken in such a selfish, arrogant, and thoughtless way rotted the very marrow in my bones.

My older children aged 10 and 11 were sitting beside me listening to this; the look on their young faces spoke volumes. I was hurt as I had seldom been hurt before -- and I was ashamed! And then the young man from Pasadena began to preach his sermonette.

As I listened to the same old arguments made in the past to prove a Monday observance for Pentecost; I remarked to myself on the seemingly deliberate omission of the passages pointing to Sunday. Was this young man being used as a sacrificial goat? Was he being made to preach the words the ministry hoped would silence the brooding masses? These thoughts were quickly silenced -- it turned out this young man was a true believer!

As his message drew towards its conclusion he wrapped it up in true Ambassador College and Spokesman Club tradition. He said: “Let me assure you that MY GOD (with great emphasis on ‘My God’) would never allow the Holy Day of Pentecost to fall on Satan’s Day -- Sunday; the day of the Sun!”

My reaction was immediate; and straight from the heart. I said: “I’ve heard more than enough of this s--t!” I turned to my wife and said: “Come on -- we’re leaving!”

A Minister’s Final Visit

Several days later we received a call from a minister requesting a visitation; I had great hopes that he might actually want to openly and fully discuss my concerns -- silly me!

When he arrived, he was accompanied by another of the young ministerial assistants fresh from Pasadena -- let me deal with him first. To my recollection, he said not one word the whole time he was in our home; this is not to say that his presence was not apparent -- it was only too apparent!

This young man had a small vial in his waistcoat pocket; it was no more than a quarter or half an ounce in size and contained what I must believe was a mouthwash of some kind. As we sat there discussing our concerns he would take this vial from his pocket, remove the little rubber stopper, place the open end of the vial against his tongue, then quickly tip it up and down again; he would then replace the stopper and put the vial back in his pocket. It was only after the third or fourth time that I actually began to notice what he was doing.

You must believe me when I tell you that I felt no anger at this; neither was I in any way offended by what I rightly or wrongly perceived as his distaste for our conversation. I did however have a very difficult time holding back my incredulous laughter. This young man was showing me as clearly as if it came directly from God, the spirit of selfishness and arrogance which had begun to manifest itself within the ministry -- and I began to relax and feel at peace with what I believed was taking place.

The minister who came to visit us was a man I both liked and respected. Nevertheless, from the very outset I realized he was not there to discuss anything; he was there to carry out a purpose -- a purpose which I had already surmised and no longer faced with regret.

I was allowed to go over many of the scriptural concerns my studies had brought to my attention; but not once did he exhibit any sign of compassion for these concerns. Neither did he even once try to show me where my understanding was in error; until I mentioned a sermon he himself had given not many Sabbaths before. He had been preaching about flaws in the teaching of other Christian organizations and had singled out the habit of those who take their message to the very homes of the people they are hoping to reach; and in support he had quoted the Scripture which says: “Go not from house to house!”

I brought this up in our discussion; no longer even trying to be diplomatic. I reminded him that when Jesus used these words He did so as a warning to his disciples as He sent them out “as lambs among wolves” to preach the gospel. He warned them not to go looking for better lodgings than that which they would be offered. They were not to go looking for accommodations where the food might be better, or the hospitality, or even with more luxurious surroundings; they were to be satisfied with whatever they received and they were not to go from house to house looking for something better!

To which this minister angrily replied: “You’re right -- but that’s not what we teach!”

The silence probably lasted no more than a few seconds; but it seemed to go on forever. Finally I said to him: “I really don’t think we have anything left to discuss.” To which he answered: “Neither do I.”

If my shock and dismay from earlier in the visit had long since disappeared, it quickly returned in a moment of sheer amazement. He turned to my wife and said: “This of course in no way affects you. You are more than welcome to continue attending services and we’ll look forward to seeing you and the children next Sabbath.”

I had often been very proud of my wife; but never more so than when she replied: “No thank you! I agree with everything my husband has said and I won’t be coming back to Church either.”

What to Do Now

I have no doubt that some of you are wondering why I don’t simply go to this minister who actually came to my home; the one who actually carried out my disfellowship, and discuss this present-day dilemma with him face to face -- man to man. Would that I could...! It is my understanding that he left the Church of God many, many years ago; long before the mass exodus from Worldwide, and not too long after he ejected me from the congregation. This then, leaves only the minister I mentioned before; the one of whom some have assured me actually ordered my expulsion.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been able to listen to several recorded sermons, recently preached by this very minister. From what I can determine, very little has changed over these many years past. What I perceive from his preaching leads me to believe there is little cause for hope that a compromise could be reached between us; I must believe that the differences which still exist in our personal and scriptural understanding would continue to keep us apart.

In order to once again enjoy the fellowship of my brethren, I could simply go to this man with an offer of false repentance; but this I will not do! This I cannot do! Should I go to him with the hope that he would finally, after all these years, be willing to carefully and thoughtfully consider our differing views of scriptural understanding? I can see nothing but stumbling-blocks and stagnation in such a hope. Yet what other choice do I have?

Eventually I must return to where I’ve been for so many years; and where I find myself today. As much as I miss the fellowship of my brethren; and as much as I miss the spiritual strength found each Sabbath day as one of a congregation gathered together in worship and prayer; it may be best for all concerned if I continue in spiritual seclusion until the return of our Saviour and His gathering together of myself and my brethren.

As I have prayed so many times before: “Thy will be done; thy Kingdom come. So be it my Lord and my God: “Thy will be done; thy Kingdom come!”

I have not enjoyed the preparation of these last two messages. Neither do I believe any personal good has come from the purging of these metaphoric poisons of the past. Those of you who understand will realize that my bitterness and condemnation was never towards the ministry, but to that which the ministry allowed to happen within the Church of God. Let me leave you with the words of our Saviour as he sent his disciples out to spread the gospel message -- the wonderful news of the soon-coming Kingdom of God:

Luke 10:3-7 “Go your way; behold, I send you out as lambs among wolves. Carry neither money bag, nor knapsack, nor sandals; and greet no one along the road. But whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace to this house.’ And if a son of peace is there, your peace will rest on it; if not, it will return to you. And remain in the same house, eating and drinking such things as they give, for the laborer is worthy of his wages. Do not go from house to house.’” -- He, who has ears to hear, let him hear.

Note: Next week I hope to discuss the biblical account of “The Thief on the Cross.” In every sermon where the thief on the cross was mentioned, it was the teaching of the minister that Jesus promised this supposedly “repentant” thief salvation. But did Jesus truly promise him salvation; or is there a more perfect understanding to this story?